The Home Stretch ...

18 more sleeps till I am safe at home in Abbotsford. Ahh. Normally time flies the older you get, but I am sure these last four months have been the longest four months of my life. Don't get me wrong - I have enjoyed enough adventure these last 16 weeks to fill several years. It has been a dream come true for me to live on the East Coast in a French-speaking environment, and I have been pleasantly surprised at how warm the people here are to 'foreigners' (well, English-speaking Canadians anyway). I have made so many new friends and have experienced at least one new thing every week that I've never tried before. That being said, this semester has been a unique blend of difficulties that have sometimes made the days drag on. I have already complained enough about my hardships, so I thought it might be nice to focus on the really great things that have happened thus far.

1. New friends - Classmates in my program, friends in other classes, friends at a women's Bible Study and at church, at work, etc. I think in 7 years in Vancouver, I never met so many people.

2. New job - Having left ESL back in 2005 after seriously burning out, I was so hesitant to get back on the horse. Since I really needed the cash, I accepted the only job I could find, and it has turned out to be a source of great encouragement for me this semester. I have the most amazing class of students at Revenue Canada who regularly express their gratitude for my work. On days when I feel like the stuttering, shy little Anglo at Laval, these 11 'tax collectors' give me encouragement that all this emotional investment in improving myself and my French will one day pay off. It's a God thing, I'm sure.

3. New 'home away from home' - Sure, I cook everything in the microwave, but this dorm room has been an unexpected blessing. I was super hesitant to live in a dorm - I didn't even enjoy it so much back when I was 21 - but this little sanctuary has been a great place to come home to after a long day at school. It's super cheap ($250 a month), it's across the street from a giant grocery store and 3 malls, and now that it's winter, I have underground access to every building on campus. I only need to wear my jacket on the days I leave campus. How great is that! (like my mom would say :) To boot, my hall is super quiet, clean, well-maintained, and best of all, safe. Love it. Sure a step up from our slum back in South Vancouver ... :)

4. New direction - After months of agonizing about it, I finally decided on a thesis topic that highly interests me (issues of national security) and I have found a professor willing to supervise me and my work. Not only that, but he is also willing to have me write the thesis in English. When I planned to come here, I was very gung-ho about writing my thesis in French. Though I could probably write it in French if I really wanted to, I would go broke having to pay someone to proofread it constantly, and from my experience this last semester, I would also spend more time worrying about the French than I would worrying about the content. Writing a thesis in English is hard enough (so I've been told); I would hate to have the quality of my work suffer just because of a language deficiency. Surprisingly, now that I have decided to tackle that project in English, I feel much more inspired to work at French in other areas. My speaking needs a lot more work than my written French, so now I can dedicate all that freed-up time to practicing the things I really need to work on, like ordering Chicken McNuggets at McDonalds. ha. My students tease me about that all the time. They often ask me how school is going, and one day I explained to them that I have little difficulty speaking about academic topics (politics, etc.) in French, but it's the everyday little things I have no experience in. I told them that the few times I actually went to McDonalds here in Québec City, I really wanted Chicken McNuggets, but for the life of me could not pronounce 'Poulet McCroquettes'. Both times, I went to the counter, looked the cashier in the eye and said, 'J'aimerais le P-pp ... ... un cheeseburger.' :) My students think that's the funniest thing ever, and they have threatened to take me to McDonalds on our last day of class and have me order for all of them. I told them they were all getting cheeseburgers. :) ha.

5. New places - In my short time here, in between classes and other time consuming activities, I have had the privilege of visiting so many new places. Québec City has so much history and culture to explore when all I have is an afternoon and a valid bus pass. On our way here to Québec (and again this last weekend), we got to see Trois-Rivières and every little hick town between here and Montréal. A friend and I spent this last weekend in Montréal and took in as many of the sights as possible. In November, our prof from SFU who came to visit us took us on a road trip to l'Île d'Orléans just outside Québec. And last but certainly not least, I got to drive along the Atlantic Coast to see Rocher Percé. That was an unbelievable trip that I will not soon forget (seeing as how I took more than 600 pics ... who can forget anything? ha). Changes in scenery always do me good, and I am so thankful for every opportunity I've had to go see something new.

Well, life looks pretty good when you put it that way. In the meantime, I have 3 oral presentations, three 20 page projects and 2 final exams to finish in the next 2 weeks. I am praying for B- in everything (or more if the Lord is feeling generous), or the grace to take whatever mark I deserve. We'll see, and I'll keep you posted. Hope you are all well and enjoying the holidays so far. Miss you all lots, and hope to hear from you soon (and see some of you as well!).

KNL

Trading in expectations

Remembrance Day (Jour du Souvenir) at the National Assembly near the Citadel

The last few weeks have been filled with all kinds of "bouleversements" like we say in French; loosely translated, the term refers to the way laundry gets thrown around in the dryer. :) I have had a sort of epiphany lately about how I have been going about my life here in Québec. After weeks of feeling very lost in my homework, thesis preparation and life plans, I think I've started to shift gears a little (since the way I was going about things really wasn't working for me at all). To be honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, applying to grad school last fall. And grad school in a second language, to boot. Not that it has been a bad choice; on the contrary - I think it will pay off nicely in the end. But frankly, back in Vancouver, I had no idea things would be this complicated. I find myself spending twice as much time correcting the French grammar in my assignments as I do actually putting all the content together. I think that in my desire to really perfect my French while here at Laval, I forgot that I was here to study Political Science and prepare for my future career. Sounds funny, but those who know me well know I have a one-track mind - no chewing gum and walking for me, thanks. ha. Now that I realize what I've been doing, I think I will better be able to focus on my work and worry about the language afterwards.

Speaking of language, I have two new jobs! They only total about 3 hours of work a week, but it's a start anyway. My main position is teaching English to public servants at Revenue Canada. I know I promised myself that I never needed to teach ESL again (after all, getting away from ESL is why I am back in school for these 4 extra years), but desperate times call for desperate measures. ha. Anyway, my class is made up of ten 30-50year-old Quebeckers who are already quite advanced. Because they work for the Federal government, their work pays for their language training, so once a week for two hours, they get to hang out with me. :) In Vancouver, I worked almost exclusively with Korean students, so I catered my first lesson to a Korean audience (as in, I do most of the speaking, etc.). Well, before I even opened my mouth to begin my very first lesson, the fire alarm rang, and the whole building needed to be evacuated. About 20 minutes later, when we were all back in the class (and I gathered my wits about me), I started to talk when one of them interrupted me and said, "So, I guess we will all introduce ourselves to you ... " And there began a 45 minute session of them telling me all about themselves. One lady even shared the details of her love life with the whole class (and I mean details you would only hear in a French classroom - no kidding). I sat back in my 'teacher-chair' and thought, "I'm not in Korea anymore." Well, I went home, overhauled my whole plan, and since then, things have been going so well. They are such an amazing class. Who knew teaching adults could be so fun and rewarding? They are so responsive and interested in learning the language. They aren't afraid to make mistakes, and they love to talk (which works for me, because I would rather not). They have given me a lot of positive feedback, and it is quickly becoming the highlight of my week. Even the security guards I need to check in with in the lobby try to practice their basic English with me. It sure shatters the stereotype of the anti-anglo Quebecker that we hear about so often on the news. Can't believe everything you hear, I guess.

My other job is a little less glamourous, but it is something I enjoy anyway - proofreading and translating for one of my professors. I've only been given about 3 projects so far, but hopefully, things will pick up so my financial worries will lessen.

Another dry aspect of 'shopkeeping' that has added to my feeling more optomistic about school is that I have completely thrown out my former thesis topic and have decided instead to study what really interests me: questions of National Security. My former topic ("The Socio-Economic Impact of the Diamond Mining Industry on Northern Canadian Natives and the Inuit") - though interesting - kind of led me to a dead end. There wasn't enough research done to support an 8 month project, so I needed to let it go. As soon as I decided on the new topic, a series of Federal Government recruitment seminars and conferences came up all within the same week related to my new topic. This gave me hope for life and work after school is over, and it's inspiring me to regroup and try to 're-tackle' the way I have been going about things. I feel a lot more confident about where I am headed, and hopefully, this is also where God would have me go.

Well, I better get to bed. v x ua ... Uh, those last letters were typed into my computer from a stack of textbooks that spontaneously decided to jump off my top shelf and land directly on top on my computer. Scared the daylights outta me. Now I can't stop laughing. Oh, that's so embarrassing when you're alone. ha. Well, OH! I forgot - I have to tell you a funny story ...

The other day, I was at a friend's house for a girls' pizza party/movie nite. We were all (10 of us) seated at the table eating pizza and salad, and there was also a bowl of croutons beside the salad. When the hostess had finished most of her pizza, she said (to everyone in general, but us out-of-towners in particular), "In Québec, we do something a little strange. We put margarine on our 'croutes' (that was the French word she used)." I thought about what she said, and wondered, "'Croutes'? What are 'croutes'? ... Maybe that is how they say 'Croutons' in French ... but I thought 'Croutons' were French ... Well, I should never assume anything ... " She went on for a while about it, then walked to the fridge to get the margarine. When she came back to the table, I was still really confused, so I asked (loud enough so everyone could hear, of course), "But how do you put the margarine on the croutons?" She looked at me blankly, paused, then said, "What?" "You know, they're so small ... " Then she burst out laughing, saying, "No, not 'croutons' - I meant pizza 'crusts'!" Then she thought a little more about my thought process and couldn't stop laughing at the image of me trying to spread butter on every little crouton. Trying to save my dignity, I responded, "Well, THAT's how we eat our croutons in Vancouver ... " To which she replied, "Yeah, right!" Sigh. Fun was had by all.

Anyway, gotta get to bed. Talk to you soon - God bless.

KNL

Aventures en Gaspésie!

This last weekend was absolutely incredible. After a month or more of school, language and financial stress, God provided for me and a couple girlfriends to go on a super-cheap roadtrip to the Atlantic coast. Armed with 3 days worth of peanut-butter and jelly and a rental car with unlimited kilometres, we left Québec City Friday morning at 7am, pumped full of caffeine and ready for anything.

Our destination the first night was an auberge (like a dorm-motel) in a little coastal village called Sainte-Anne-des-Monts. It was supposed to be about a 6 hour drive, but being as Ashley, Sarah and I are all obsessed with getting that elusive 'perfect photo', we took 12 hours to get there. The journey was the best part of the trip. Sarah had been out east about 10 years ago, but for Ashley and I, this was as far east in Canada as we had ever been. We took Route 132 most of the way - it runs along the south shore of St. Lawrence, and for about 90% of the trip, the ocean is in plain view on the north side of the road. Québec City is situated on the St. Lawrence where it narrows, and the further you go east, the wider it opens up until you completely lose sight of the other shore (and are looking straight at Newfoundland, far off in the distance). Our first photo stop was at Sainte-Anne-de-la-Pocatière (see photos on right) - it was super cold, but the view was fantastic. Next, we stopped in Rivière-du-Loup, and enjoyed peanut-butter and jelly near a waterfall. Between Rivière-du-Loup and Rimouski, we came across ruins of an old stone house - it looked really old, but there was no sign explaining what it was or who it belonged to (see photos). Great for cool photos, though. The rest of the day was more of the same - drive a little, stop for photos, drive a little more, stop for more photos - until we finally made it to Sainte-Anne-des-Monts for the night.

The next morning, we left before the sun came up, and when dawn finally arrived, the scenery had dramatically changed from the day before. Our first stop was an old red lighthouse in a tiny fishing village. The highway signs warned drivers of crashing waves that may overcome the highway. The day started out cloudy, and at random points on the way, the winds really picked up and were so strong that we couldn't even keep our cameras steady for a photo. We were standing on a cliff (at least 100m high) not far from Forillon National Park trying to take pictures but were getting drenched. When we got back into the car, we licked our lips and discovered that it wasn't rain that had got us all wet, but ocean spray from 100m below. It was a wild exerience - I have never been in winds that strong, and frankly, I hope I never do again! The storm was at its strongest driving through Forillon National Park, so we couldn't really see the cliffs that we had heard so much about, but that was OK. On the other side, the weather quickly calmed down, and the sun even peeked out for awhile. In Gaspé, we came across the site where Jacques Cartier placed a cross to claim Canada for France back in 1534, surrounded by monuments with very politically incorrect passages written from his diary on his impressions of the Native people of the day. About an hour more on the highway, we arrived at our destination - Rocher Percé (see photos). It is a giant piece of barren rock that sits like an island jutting 88m up and 433m long off the shores of the village, with a giant hole near the seaward end. It was absolutely breathtaking - nothing like it on the West Coast that I have ever seen before. We were hoping to walk out to it (it's possible in summer during low tide), but the sea was really stormy, and the stairway down to the water was closed. We found a pier on the shore, and spent about an hour taking pictures of it from every possible angle. It was amazing the way the colours of the rock changed as the sun tried to come out and the clouds shifted. You could probably spend a whole day just watching the Rock adjust to its natural lighting. We nearly got drenched from the crashing waves on the pier that not only spewed water, but also spit out all kinds of sealife onto the shore. Some of the crashing waves were at least 6-7m high, and they were strong enough to pull you back into the sea. After taking an inordinate amount of photos, we decided to head back 4 hours down the road to Sainte-Anne-des-Monts for the night. On the way back, we came across at least 10 cars with giant game tied to the front of all sizes and makes of cars (moose, deer, etc) - some had the whole animal, others had huge moose heads attached to the hoods of their cars like bullhorns on a Texan Cadillac. I grew up in the sticks, but I have never seen anything like that in my life. When we got back to the auberge, we asked our dorm-mother about it; she said hunting was like a religion out here, and that today was the last day of moose season. Men put these dead animals on their cars like trophies to show off to everyone else. She said that locals get so worked up about the hunt that the conservation officers spend more time breaking up fights than they do checking for poachers. Another thing we noticed was how quiet things were on the road and in towns - not only was tourist season long over (so most businesses were closed), but most locals were in the mountains hunting. It made it easy to not spend any money we didn't have to - our PB&J and other snacks suited us just fine.

Another quirk of this area is that most towns are one street wide - everyone seems to live right on the highway and or right on the shore. Very few yards have trees, although less than a mile from the shore are giant forests and mountains. Directions to places are given in terms of their proximity to the local Catholic church - and no matter how small the town is, they have a giant church that stands 5 times taller than any other building (sort of like grain elevators in Saskatchewan). Gas stations are very basic - gas and car parts are the only things sold there (no snacks, coffee, etc). The further east you drive, the less likely anyone will speak English with you (although if they do, they will advertise it on their sign - "We speak English!"). Whoever built Route 132 decided that going around hills and gradually grading the road must have been a waste of time - some hills were 17% grade, and I can't remember how many times I slowed down the car because the road seemed to go straight down a hill. It was like a roller coaster sometimes - ha.

It was a much needed escape from life at Laval, and I am so thankful for all the fun we had together. Now, I am into midterms and am praying for a miracle to do well on my Economics exam on Thursday. Next week is Reading break, and I will be using it to get ahead in a lot of my work. Hope you all are doing well - I would love to hear from you. Miss you all, and talk to you again soon.

KNL

Turning the corner

Well, I know this will probably cost me politically, but I just couldn't resist. :) By accident the other day, I came across a student rally for Mr. Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc Québécois (the political party whose main concern is breaking out of the Canadian federation). I am no separatist, but being an extremely curious person, I thought, "Well, here's something I've never done before," and I decided to take it in. Students were given "Oui!" pins and Québec flag stickers just outside the door of the theatre, so I helped myself (Bunny was so excited - he's a big fan of Lucien Bouchard - ha) and went in. I was standing right by the door at the back when Mr. Duceppe walked in to the applause of the crowd and took his place on the podium. I stayed for about 10 minutes, then went home to have lunch. Now I can say I've done pretty much everything.

Well, today I finally got the second half of my Student Loan (yay!). Hard to believe it took from mid-July to October 12th to get everything in order, but now that beast is behind me - Dieu merci. I've decided to not talk about it anymore because it only upsets me - but I do thank God for intervening in the meantime. I came across a familiar verse today that had special meaning in light of everything that has happened for me in the financial realm this year:

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I find that passage sobering. I even teared up a little in coming across it. It's funny how in life we go through certain situations that, at the time, seem 'as bad as it can get', and yet later, life's path leads us to darker recesses of the valley. Growing up in northern Saskatchewan, we didn't have a lot, but I remember never thinking we would go without - Mom and Dad were great at protecting us that way. I knew they didn't have much, but we always had a warm house and food on the table. Then, last year, when Allison and I moved into Vancouver to got to school and our student loans took till the end of September to arrive, I thought, "Man, this is going to be a benchmark for me - I don't think I'll ever be this poor again." I wouldn't say I was especially hungry - we had all the canned soup a couple of college girls could want - but we had no hot water or heat (for 8 months), mice running all over our apartment and the landlady from the dark side. On the upside, we had each other, and that helped. This semester, I have a great place to live, but there was a point last week where I had been eating spaghetti noodles twice a day for about two weeks, and all I had in my cupboard were two cans of ham, a cup of uncooked rice and about another cup of uncooked oatmeal. Yet God intervened on that day with enough money to get proper food. My faith at the moment just before the money came in was low - I didn't doubt so much that He could provide - I just never remember feeling so helpless and upset at the situation in general. It was like God was talking me to the edge of my faith in Him. Sure, it's easy to trust Him when there's food on the table, but will I trust Him when the cupboard says I have another two meagre days of food and no promise of further provision? I think I royally flunked that test of faith, but in retrospect I have learned to focus on the Giver and less on the cupboard. Anyway, like I said, enough about this topic ... on to better things!

I am starting to feel a little more comfortable with life here in la Belle Province. I've made a lot of new friends and I'm starting to get into more of a routine. Fall seems to have taken root - the leaves have all changed and the strong autumn winds have blown many of them onto the ground. It's been raining for the last few days and locals say the snow isn't far off. When my loan came in, the first things I bought were new snow boots and a new winter jacket. I realized I hadn't owned either since, well, the 20th century. ha. I'm looking forward to the snow; I think it will bring back fun memories of my childhood that haven't crossed my mind in years. It's funny - even having a significant African population here at school has brought back so many memories from my short time in Burkina Faso. Compared to Vancouver, it really is like another world here in Québec.

Well, I should get to my homework. Miss you all, and hope to hear from you soon.

KNL

The honeymoon is over ...

I'm so glad this week is finally over. By about Tuesday, I was ready just to lock myself in a closet and wait out the rest of the week, but sometimes getting back in the saddle is the thing to do to get past whatever's bothering you. And many things decided to bother me this week ... :)

Monday started OK. My research methods class was first - it is probably my favourite class because we get help developing our thesis, but I have trouble with the class discussion groups. The class is pretty packed, and with that amount of people talking at once, I can't understand anything that is being said. I was in a group with 3 other people, and a few of them were giving me pointers on my thesis subject. I was grateful for the help, for sure. One of the girls told me that I should ask the teacher about something in my topic, and I agreed that that would be a good idea - even though I really wasn't sure what she was wanting me to ask the teacher about; it was just easier to agree with her than to constantly keep asking, "What did you say?" "Could you repeat that?" every two minutes (noise problem, not a language problem). Then, lucky me, the teacher came around, and my new friend, trying to be helpful, told him, "Kristen has a question for you." He looked me straight in the eye, and I panicked - not only did I not want to ask him a question in front of so many people, but I had no idea what question she was wanting me to ask him. I told them it was OK and that I would talk to him later, but I must have come off looking like quite the weirdo. I got pretty flustered after that, but instead of being able to leave class and go de-tox in my room, I had to straight to my next class where I was supposed to do a 10-minute oral presentation on ... I can't even remember now, it's been that kind of week. ha. Anyway, that went surprisingly better than I thought, except that I had to do it in front of the guest speaker the teacher invited to our class that day. I still have no idea how I did (as far as a mark) because that teacher says very little, and mostly just lets us take over debate in that class. That worries me. Our oral participation in debates in that class is worth 30% of our final mark - being quick on my toes is definitely not a gift of mine, so that is a constant stress for me every Monday as well. Our teacher is also the program director who decides if we graduate or not - I wish he would just react to my work every once in a while so I know where I stand. Anyway, I went home after 6 straight hours of class, thinking the worst part of the week was over.

Tuesday morning, I got a phone call on my dorm phone telling me that (what I thought was) the Registrar's office had something for me to pick up, and that I should just ask the person at the front desk for an envelope from the "Bee-cee Meeneestree of Ejookayshee-on" - that should have been my first clue that a language kerfuffle lie ahead. I have found that many people in the Registrar's office can't read English, and this has majorly complicated my BC Student Loans application - I still have received no funding because of mistakes at Laval, but more on that later. Anyway, I went to the Registrar, waited in line, and asked the lady at the front desk about my envelope. She had no idea what I was talking about and was unnecessarily rude to me. Fine, whatever. I asked her if she could guess where that phone call this morning came from (since, evidently, it wasn't them), and she was quite sure that the Political Science Department had what I needed. I walked over to that building, and eventually found the right person to talk to. I retold her the whole story of where I had been this morning, and she had no idea what I was talking about. I asked her if she could guess maybe who ELSE may have called me about that. She thought maybe it was the Financial Aid Department. So, discouraged even more, I headed clear across campus to Financial Aid. I waited in line and re-retold my tale to the lady at the front counter. By this time, I am pretty stressed out and nervous, so not only is my French deteriorating, but I start to stutter a lot through it. She, too was quite rude as well and had no idea what I was talking about. She told me that I should go to the Registrar's office. She clearly was not listening to me. I said, "I went to the Reigistrar. She sent me to the Poli Sci Dept. She sent me here. Is there a FOURTH place you think I may have gotten this call from?" By this time, I am practically crying. Some kind soul behind her took a little pity on me and took me aside to call around to see what he could find. He wasn't able to find anything, but he tried to comfort me by saying, "Well, I guess if it was really important, whoever called you will call you back." I laughed a little, thanked him for his help, then went to the washroom to have a little meltdown. I walked back to my dorm room and saw a huge red puddle under my fridge. I opened the door, and everything had melted, including the strawberries I had frozen in little Glad containers. My fridge must have come unplugged yesterday somehow, and now everything smelled funny. Another meltdown on my bed. I had to throw everything out, and all I had was a small can of beans for dinner.

Long story short, I called BC Student Loans (for the relief of being able to talk out my problem in English), and they told me that Laval had somehow messed up on my paperwork, and that I should take the loan form in myself, have the Registrar stamp it, then fax it to Student Loans on my own. I agreed to do that Friday. I went back to the Registrar (which closes for 1.5 hours at lunch), and just made it in the door before they locked up. I gave her the form and asked her to stamp it for me so I could fax it in and get my long-overdue Student Loan money. She took it, and told me she would fax it off in 3-5 business days. Completely exasperated, I gave her my best, "Are you kidding?" look, but knowing that she would do nothing to speed it up, I thanked her and left. I know this is no one person's fault, but maybe the 'administration' doesn't realize that while all my paperwork is being delayed, I am feeling hungry (for not having my loan money, and for losing everything in my fridge), that I can't pay rent on Sunday, or my phone bill, etc. I get that there are always procedures to follow, but I have been in Quebec more than a month - I really thought I would have money by now. Fortunately, the "Bank of Dad" has come to my rescue and offered to lend me what I need to get by. I am so grateful for that, but frustrated that my financial woes have spilled over onto my parents' shoulders. It looks like I SHOULD have my loan in order by about October 15th, and in November, I can start this whole process over again for the Winter Semester loan. Sigh.

Well, all is not lost. This is getting long, so I'll keep it brief. Even with my Student Loan, I still need some extra money to get through the semester, so I decided to get a job. I was hired this week at "l'École des Langues de l'Estrie" - an ESL school that works mostly with French-speaking public servants and business people who need to learn English for work or who need to pass a public servants' language exam for a new job. I was hesitant to get back into teaching, but so far, this is what I have found for work so I will teach until something more political comes up. I'm grateful for the job, and hopefully, they will have a contract for me soon. I am hoping that somehow, in teaching public servants English, I will meet people who will be looking to hire at their government office, and since they will know me already from English school ... who knows? Maybe this is the Lord's roundabout way of getting me my dream job, whatever that might be. At this point, I would be satisfied with a positive income instead of constant loans from so many people. God does provide, though, even in this way, so I should be grateful. When I finish school, I would really like to financially help out others who struggle with funding school - it's just so crazy to worry about money when school has so many stresses of its own.

Anyway, speaking of school, I have lots of work to do, so I better go. My French friend and I are leading a 3-hour class discussion on Monday (in that same class) on the legitimate use of violence by the state. Yeah, I don't know what that means either, but whatever. We'll put on a good show. :) Miss you all.

KNL

Fall in New France

Well, fall is finally here in Québec. I have to say, though, that we have had the most wonderful weather this last month: not too hot, not too cold, sunny and when the rains come, they last only hours instead of weeks. Who knew that there was good weather outside the Lower Mainland (just kidding - I miss Saskatchewan weather a lot more than I let on) :)

I'm slowly starting to get a little more confortable with life here. My classes don't seem quite as overwhelming as they did initially, although my oral presentation on Monday is still scaring the be-jeebies out of me. I have another one next week (with a French-speaking partner, thankfully) that will last about 3 hours - ! - one giant hurdle at a time. Every day, as I try something new that scares the stuffing out of me, things get a little easier. What I keep forgetting is that a lot of these new social situations would be terrifying for a shy person like me even at home in Vancouver where I could fall back on my English. Who knows ... maybe I will be a completely different person when I come home ... or maybe I will just need that many more hugs from loved ones when I land on the West Coast in December. ha.

After church today, I was talking with someone who asked me where I was from. I told him Vancouver, and he said, "Wow, the culture here in Québec must be SO different from home." Not wanting to stir the pot, I said, "Yes," but it got me thinking a little. I have noticed, so far, a few subtle cultural differences between the average Québecker and the average Anglophone Canadian. We Anglos tend to be a little goofier and a little chattier with strangers (especially the girls) on average. But all things considered, there is FAR more in common between me and someone from Québec, than, say, me and someone from Chinatown or Little India back home in Vancouver. If one didn't know better, we Anglos look like the average Québecker, even if an Anglo can't speak a lick of French he/she can read every French sign (unlike stores in South Vancouver where I can't even make out what they sell), most Canadians share a common history with the average Québecker that we don't even share with people from our homeland of England (here on the North American colony), and the food is generally the same except for a few regional differences (which we would find in any province, English-speaking or not). Funny how both Québeckers and English Canadians can get so hung up on what divides us but don't want to admit how much we have in common.

Speaking of things that never change from culture to culture, the other day when I was in the mall with Sarah and Ashley, a (MUCH older) man made a pass at me, sort of. We were standing at the Telus counter, trying to get Sarah's cellphone woes solved, when a man who looked about 70 years old, came up to me, interrupted the Telus lady and said, "I just want to tell you how wonderful your red curly hair is. I have two sisters who also have red hair, and I gotta say that I just love it - we never see that anymore. I have no ulterior motive for telling you this - I just wanted to let you know that I think it is so beautiful." I was taken aback, but managed to thank him for his kindness and eventually he left. When I used to candystripe in the Nipawin Hospital, very elderly men often told me that, too. How frustrating that these men are three times my age ... why couldn't 30 year old men be approaching me instead? Well, at the very least, I will be the most eligible spinster in the old folks home in 2048. haha.

Anyway, I better get back to work. Miss you all and would love to hear from you sometime.

KNL

Meeting her Excellency, the Governor General of Canada

It has been a full week, to say the least. I really should have been blogging every day since Wednesday, but I will try to sum everything up in this post (so it may be a bit long - get yourself a hot chocolate and a warm blanket, here we go! - ha).

Anyway, I will begin with the most obvious ... I spoke with the Governor General today. (For those non-Canadians out there, the GG is appointed every 4-5 years to stand as the Queen's representative here in Canada. She officially has more powers than the Prime Minister, but rarely uses them. Mostly, she travels around handing out awards to outstanding Canadians, and also entertains dignitaries who come to Canada on official business). Anyhow, I had heard that she was going to be in town today at her residence in Vieux Québec, so I invited Sarah and Ashley to come with me to see her. I have always wanted to meet the GG, but never had the chance in Vancouver/Sask. After getting completely lost somewhere on the Plains of Abraham in the rain and wind, walking up and down hundreds of stairs and climbing battlefields for about 45 minutes, we finally found the GG's residence. We walked inside, and knowing we were late, I was sure we had missed her speech and everything. We got a tour of the dining room, and then we went upstairs to the ball room where there were displays of the GG's work all over Canada and the world. We went into a smaller sun room to sign a giant banner that was to be sent to our troops in Afghanistan. We continued on back into the ball room, which isn't very big at all - maybe 80 people were in there - squished together. We couldn't figure out why so many TV cameras were converging on a smaller group of people in the middle of the room, so Sarah got a little closer. She said, "I think she's HERE" ("She" being the Governor General). And there she was, in the middle of the room, talking to all the visitors. She had two tall men in uniforms beside her and two older women in red suits acting as 'social directors', kind of guiding her to who she could talk to next.

We stood nearby for about 3 minutes when one of the red coat ladies said (in French), "There are some young ladies waiting patiently here to speak to you, your Excellency." She approached us, and said hello in English, then switched back to French when she figured out we understood her. She asked us where we were from, and I think I said Vancouver :) . Sarah did most of the talking, and told the GG that we were in a French political science program back home in Vancouver, and that we were here for a year to study at Laval (well, Ashley and Sarah are in that program, I was too nervous to tell her I was in another program ... small detail she probably would soon forget anyway). She said that she had noticed on a recent trip to BC that there were so many people there wanting to learn French, and she thought that was wonderful. We must have said something else, but I was a little starstruck to remember what it was - ha. We did ask to have our picture taken with her, but she said no because it would cause a bottleneck in the 'receiving line' of sorts. Her red-coat assistant said it was OK for us to take pictures of her as the GG "moved around" - so we did ... lots, in search of that elusive perfect photo. I felt bad using the flash in her face, but I guess she must be used to it.

Shortly thereafter, she and her husband made short speeches welcoming us into their home and outlining what events were happening there during Québec's 400th anniversary. When that was over, we made our way out, but not before coming upon a room that was serving free refreshments. There were freshly picked apples, dried apple rings with chocolate, honey and chai tea spices, and freshly squeezed apple juice - I think the apples were from the gardens at Rideau Hall in Ottawa. It was the coolest accidental meeting ever - it will be a long time before I forget today. :) She was such a warm person - she seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say, and she chatted with us like any normal person would at a dinner party. Some visitors from Columbia were introduced to her, and she began chatting with them fluently in Spanish. After she moved on from us, she saw a small child, and said, "I saw that cute little face across the room, and I had to come see him!" Then the baby began to cry, but the GG laughed and spoke sympathetically to the baby's mother.

As we were walking around the house, and before we even knew we would see the GG at all, my friends and I were discussing how lucky we were to live in a country where our government buildings are open to the general public, and without intense, obtrusive security at that (although I am sure that there were as many security and staff there today as there were guests, but most of them smiled, talked with you and were there mostly to make sure you had a great time with the GG). It got me to thinking a bit about Christ, especially when we were in the crowd vying for a chance to even see the GG face to face: kind of like those friends of that paralytic in the Bible who did everything they could to bring their friend to Jesus for healing, and eventually cut a hole in the roof to lower their friend right into Christ's presence. Now the GG is no Saviour, of course, but she is essentially the highest ranking Canadian; yet, we were invited to her house, she listened to us, and she let us stay and enjoy just being in her home (with food and everything!). God is not obliged to even give us the time of day, but He welcomes us anyway; He listens to our requests and praise even when we must seem awkward and less revering than we should; He shares His wealth with us in food, shelter, etc. Having grown up in late 20th century North America, I can't say I fully understand the kingly analogies in the Bible that explain God's majesty and position over us, but for a few minutes today, I started to "get it." It was a great object lesson I will never forget.

On second thought, I will explain my birthday and other things of the week in another blog entry. Too much to say ... in a good way. :) Miss you all - talk to you soon.

KNL

Finding God in unexpected places

("The Christian and Missionary Alliance of Sainte-Foy -
One church ... one family")

Today, I made my first venture out into Québec City`s community of faith. Thanks to Dad's work connections, I heard about this church somewhat near the university so I decided to try it out this morning. I got off the bus, and across the street was this giant cathedral-like chapel. I stood there in awe for a second, but as I got closer, I noticed that it was not the church I was looking for. I glanced across the street and saw a much more modest sign outside an older community centre. Voilà, the church I was headed to ...

A little hesitant, I made my way in and was greeted by several friendly people who seemed about my age and who coincidentally (well, I guess coincidence is impossible in a church - ha) also work on campus at Laval. I found myself a seat on the side (there were probably 60 chairs available) in a room not unlike the gymnasium at Alex Wright Elementary School in Nipawin. As I waited for the service to start, I got to thinking about churches back home in Vancouver: How strange to come from the Fraser Valley, a veritable smorgasbord of church choices and preferences when it comes to music, preaching and community activities, to a little congregation in a temporary facility amidst an ocean of Québécois culture which has collectively given up on religious authority of any kind. That the church exists at all from year to year is an achievement.

The music started, and surprisingly, I recognized most of the songs (the lyrics having been translated into French). Younger members of the congregation played all sorts of instruments such as the cello, fiddles, electric piano, drums (I think), etc. It`s funny - you can sing the same song in Vancouver and Québec, but each culture puts its own spin on it. Here in Québec, church music sounds remarkably similar to the little square dancing songs Mme Nyuli used to teach us in music class - it was so cool. Later in the service when people were sharing about what God had been teaching them, a lady in the front row started saying the Lord`s Prayer (in French, of course). My thoughts went straight back to my French Immersion days where all our Catholic teachers (in a public school, mind you -- long live the 80`s) had us recite the Lord`s Prayer in French after singing the bilingual version of O Canada every morning. Had our English-only school principal spoken a word of French, we may not have 'gotten away with that'. Funny, too - most of us weren`t even Catholic (and only a handful of us were regular church goers), and I don`t ever remember it being a problem. How things have changed. To this day, I still do not know the Lord`s Prayer in English - good thing God speaks all forms of Canadian :)

Anyway, I came away from that service feeling silly about the way I had drawn up my list of must-haves in my 'church-shopping' adventures. Fantastic modern music? Well, heartfelt music by ordinary people wins out. Great looking facility? An affordable, safe place to meet for a couple hours on Sunday is good enough for me. Large, diverse congregation? A few well-chosen (by God, of course) people who live out their faith in a culture of historical opposition to Christ are the kind of friends I am looking for. What a refreshing reminder of what truly makes up a church - God`s people.

KNL

Bonjour!

(Top photo: "Welcome to Quebec City, the National Capital" - funny. And so it begins ...)

Hello from the east coast! Sorry it has taken me SO long to update this. I was without internet for 8 days, and it felt like an eternity. Today, I finally got things hooked up in my room, so I am back to being connected to the world! What a relief. It is very hard to start in a new place without the internet - maps, bus routes, store hours, etc ... my SFU buddies and I were hit and miss all last week. :) Even though we were on campus here at Laval, we had no communication with the school because it is mostly done by internet - isn't technology great? ha.

So far so good. Life here has been surprisingly enjoyable. The dorm I am in is old school, but really clean and equipped with all of the modern conveniences of home - a sink in every room, all the furniture we could possibly need, showers and bathrooms just a few doors down, a 3rd floor view of the courtyard, a TV room downstairs with a big screen TV, a grand piano in the lobby, kitchens, laundry rooms, ice machines, pop machines, candy machines, coffee machines, tunnels to everywhere on campus (for those frosty winter days to come), etc, etc, etc. Two of my SFU buddies and I are in the one residence (all girls) that is separate from the three others (further from classes, but right across the street from the grocery store and three malls). I am so thankful to be in this one - you can see pics of it on Facebook if you like. Four other SFU students from that cohort program I used to be in are here, too - I never realized how much easier it was to move somewhere new with someone else. Most of my life, I have done these giant steps alone, but it has been really great having them here to go through all these firsts together. I am in a completely different program than them, but hopefully, we will run into each other from time to time. I start classes on Thursday -- I'll keep you posted on the academic front.

As for the French, I think a lot has changed since I was here last. Part of me thinks Quebeckers are a little warmer towards anglophones than they were back in 1994 when I was here last (they were only months away from that nearly fateful referendum back then). Part of the difference is that my French is exponentially better than it was back in the day, although I still have so much to learn. Thankfully, it hasn't been as difficult as I imagined. Or rather, I haven't been as traumatized as I envisioned. :) I understand most everyone, but my speaking could really use some work. The other day, the registrar had me in her office to register me in classes, and she told me three times that we were done before I understood and responded appropriately - I was nodding and smiling, thinking she was telling a joke; she was actually telling me to leave. My bad. :) God has been gracious in giving me a newfound confidence in speaking even in situations that would make me nervous in English. I even made casual conversation with a complete stranger today in French. I don't know how other people move from their homeland to another country without being thoroughly equipped in the new language (like immigrants who come to Canada without English). I am having enough difficulty, and I have spoken French for 24 years (though never outside of school). I have a newfound appreciation for what my former students went through. :)

Well, I better get to applying for a few more jobs. I still don't know if I am approved for a Student Loan, so I am here in faith hoping things will work themselves out. Please pray for both the loan and a great job. Miss you all, and hope all is well in your corner of the world.

Talk to you soon.

KNL

7 more sleeps!

Well, this is it. School's out and all there is left to do is pack and spend quality time with family. Sigh. I will miss everyone SO much. That's really the only thing weighing heavy on my heart right now - school, the move, the new challenges don't really scare me at this point (but next week? that's another story - ha). One thing at a time, I guess. :)

The summer has been so incredibly full - hard to believe it was only 4 months. These last few weeks were filled with friends in from out of town, final work study projects, final exams, Danny's 5 day stay at MSA, and a trip to Quesnel to see my cousin Tim get married. This next week will be full of tales to tell you, so I might just wait till then to write more. Just wanted to check in so you know I haven't abandoned my blog altogether ... now the real stories can begin. Ha.

I leave Abbotsford Monday, August 27th and arrive in Quebec sometime the next day. I will be in touch as soon as the internet in my dorm room is hooked up. So until then, remember me in your prayers as I jump into the unknown. :) I will be checking in again soon.

Love you all, and I'll miss everyone very, very much.

KNL

32 days!

Well, since James has arrived, life has been sweet. It's funny how someone so little and with such a limited bag of tricks (sleep, poop, eat) can affect so many grown ups in a remarkable way. We often joke that it's ironic how Becky can do all those same things and no one reacts the same. :) She is remarkable in other ways. I got to chaperone her 13th birthday extravaganza the other day, and we had a great time. We got all dressed up, rented a limo, and drove to Mission Silvercity to see Evan Almighty (she's the one in the black top and pink skirt - that she altered herself!). What a riot! Love her so much ... sure gonna miss her.

Nothing else super interesting to report ... a week and a half left of classes, 3 exams, and my career at SFU will be over. No grad, no degree, just a fast track into Laval where things should hopefully start falling into place. My flight has been bought (thank you, Airmiles), the car to get to Quebec from Montreal has been rented, my first month's rent has been paid, and I have a meeting with the director of my program the day after I arrive in Quebec City. Just need to do well in these classes I am taking right now and all should go well. Still could use prayer about Student Loans. I am in the middle of applying for them, and all should work out fine, but I have thought that before and had things turn out disastrously. I'm trying not to think about it until I absolutely have to.

Oh - I forgot! After a year of agonizing, I decided to put my film camera (Canon Rebel 2000 plus telephoto lenses, etc) on Craigslist. Film photography is far too expensive while I am in school, and I really needed my hobby back. Fortunately, three days after posting the set on the web, I had cash in my hand - for all of three hours because I went straight to Best Buy to get my new digital camera. :) I am very happy with it - I have to admit that digital photography has come a long way, and some of the pictures I have taken this week rival the quality of my film photography (say it isn't so!). I purchased a Canon PowerShot A570IS - an entry level point and shoot with manual functions. In the last two weeks, I have taken 1200 photos. That's the equivalent of 50 rolls of film, or what would have cost me $800 with my film camera. I know, moderation is not my middle name (although, wouldn't that be cool? ha). It's just that it had been so long since I have been able to take photos - at least a year, and I had a lot of catching up to do. I love having a hobby again. :)

Well, I guess I should get back to my homework. Hope you all are well - talk to you again soon.

KNL

He's here!

Well, after nine long months, he's finally here! James William Leppington was born June 28, 2007 and weighed 9lbs 2oz (22 in.). He's a big boy! :) Daniel called here at 3:30am this morning to tell us he and Carolyn were headed to the hospital, and only a few short hours later, James was here. I was in Burnaby writing a midterm at the time, but I scooted back to Abbotsford as soon as I could to be with everyone. Carolyn was checked out of MSA before I got there, so Becky and I spent the afternoon together at my house as her Mom and Dad did all the paperwork at the hospital. I finally got to hold the little guy later in the evening, and I tell ya, it was love at first sight. He is so content, so soft and unusually hairy for a Leppington. :) This has been a great day all around - not only did we finally meet James, but Mom quit her terrible job in favour of a better one (to start Tuesday), and Becky got an Academic Excellence Award AND the Work Ethic Award on her last day of Grade 7. I am so proud of her! Not only that, but she whipped my butt at Risk and is now Dictator for Life. Ha. God is so good to bless her with a brother - I don't know what I'd do without mine. I know it's a little overdone, but Psalm 139 evidenced itself today in such a cute little way:

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Happy Birthday, James. Your auntie Kristen loves you so much.

KNL

A weekend on campus

Because the Fraser River is threatening to flood, and the West Coast Express (my ride to school) told us last week to make alternate plans to get into the city early this week, I had to spend two nights and three days in my pre-paid dorm room at SFU. (SFU didn't give me back the $600 deposit I made on my residence fees for the summer semester, so I have use of the room until June 22. Having stayed there 3 days ... I guess that's about a $200 a night. ha.) I am glad, however, that I had a safe place to stay during mid-terms.

Monday afternoon, I had a little free time, so I hopped on a bus, took the Skytrain, got on the Seabus, and eventually meandered my way back to campus. I love doing that, taking destination-less rides on public transit. I am sure going to miss Vancouver next year, especially the weather. Having lived here all my adult life, I have a hard time imagining myself anywhere else. I think the change will be good, once I outfit myself in a decent parka and a fashionable pair of Sorels.

My dorm room at SFU this weekend had no TV nor any access to internet, so I had a lot of time to just sit in quietness and ponder life. I brought a file of random journal clippings from way back, and I was surprisingly encouraged by some things I was led to write down back in the day, around the time I was contemplating leaving Nipawin to move to Vancouver 8 years ago. This one was especially encouraging to me in light of my upcoming adventure to la belle province:

Isaiah 43:1-5a, 18-19

But now, this is what the Lord says -
He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you'
I have summoned you by name;
You are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy one of Israel, Your Saviour;
I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Sheba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you ...

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

What a cool reminder of how God sees us. Praise the God of the Big Picture.

KNL

Anybody got a carrot?

I found this picture in an old photo album today, and I couldn't stop laughing. So, of course, I posted it so you all may laugh at me, too. Ha. Kind of looks like a 'bunny police lineup.' Those ears ... oh, my. :) That was Hallowe'en 1983, not long before we moved from Abbotsford to Nipawin. Now, I am getting ready to leave Abbotsford again, but this time for Quebec to check off that last thing on my life's list of 'Dreams to Fulfill'. Can't say I have the same great fashion sense I once had, but I was reminded today how wonderful my life has been, and how I should thank God a lot more than I do. So here we go - a start at all the things I am thankful for:

I am thankful for Mom and Dad.

I am thankful for Daniel and Erin, Daniel and Carolyn, Becky and the baby (any day now!).

I am thankful for my Grandma Leppington, with whom I can still hang out and make great memories, and for Grandpa Leppington and Grandma Peggy who are safe with Jesus.

I am thankful for all my aunts (and uncles) who teach me how to grow gracefully as a Cooke/Leppington woman.

I am thankful for my childhood friends, my junior high friends, my high school friends, my NBI friends, my Torch Trail friends, my Vancouver friends, my Korean students - you all know who you are, and each one is so special and irreplaceable.

I am thankful for a childhood on the prairies and an incredible Bible college education at NBI. As a campus kid, some of the best things I learned there happened way before I was ever admitted as a freshman.

I am thankful for French Immersion, and the way it has brought so many wonderful advantages and opportunities to my life. I thank my parents, too, for having the foresight to put me in it.

I am thankful for my country - trips to Burkina and Korea have reaffirmed my belief that we really do have nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for as Canadians.

I am thankful for being born at a time in history when it is not only acceptable for women to go to school and get a job, but also that we enjoy a quality of life that is unprecedented in our society.

I am thankful for the rain outside my 3rd floor window at night, the smell of cedar in the morning, and the overwhelming experience of standing near the ocean.

What's that, little bunny? Yeah, life is pretty good.

KNL

Welcome to my commute ... pass the Gravol

Thanks to Student Loans and a complicated process of them and SFU deciding how much money I actually need for school, I was royally "messed over", let's say, this semester. Long story short, Student Loans decided to give me some (but not all) of the money I needed to go to school this summer semester. SFU heard how much Student Loans was planning to give me, SFU decided that wasn't enough, so they gave me a generous combination of financial assistance and scholarships. Student Loans found out about this and decided SFU gave me too much, and told me that I needed to give them (Student Loans) what SFU gave me. Sigh. All I want to do is study hard to get into Grad school in September, and this weird triangle of public funding is seriously complicating things. In the end, I was left with $500 to pay for a $7000 semester (living, tuition and all). Fortunately, my folks still have an extra room in Abbotsford, so I will be staying with them to save money on living expenses. As for the tuition? We'll see ... no one's kicked me out of class yet. ha. Since Mom and Dad live in Abbotsford (and I needed to sell Bill - my Honda Civic - back in 2005 to go to school), I now take 3 different companies of public transportation to get to SFU. My day starts at 5am, I leave the house at 6 and get to school at 8h30 - Bus, train, bus. The first train to go back to Mission gets me home at about 5:45pm. Long days. Lots of time to contemplate life. I am (now) OK with the situation -- Mom and Dad have been so generous, and I am sure glad this fiasco didn't interrupt my studies or change my plans for the fall. Food on the table and a safe place to sleep at night - life is good.

Speaking of contemplating life, here is an exerpt from yesterday's musings in my journal ...

It's weird. When I moved here to Vancouver 7 years ago, I was sad to leave family behind, but I was completely done with Nipawin, and I felt like I couldn't leave soon enough. Though it has been my life's dream to live in Quebec, Vancouver has been really good to me, and I know I will miss it dearly. Leaving Nipawin, for me, was 96% a win-win situation (that last 4% being Dad, Mom, Erin and Dan). Leaving Vancouver for Quebec, today, feels like a 51% win and 49% lose situation, sorta like a referendum vote - ha. I think this is primarily because Quebec is an unknown, like a purchase at a CPF White Elephant sale. It has all the promise of a great fit for this next phase of my life, but the dream is so vague and blurry that I hesitate giving up the 'bird in my hand for the 2 in the bush.'

But, the same God that brought me here to Vancouver with a one-way plane ticket, no job, no place to live and very limited cash in my bank account back in 2001 is the same One that is leading me to 'la belle province.' I could never have anticipated what my life here in Vancouver turned out to be, and I am sure that same will be true in Quebec. The only difference, I guess, is that the next chapter of my life will be written in French subtitles.

KNL

Chillin' like a villain ...

The expression "chillin' like a villain" always made my grandpa laugh, maybe because he worked in Corrections - ha. Life has been pretty mellow these last 5 days. I am finally done my exams and my work-study marathon, and it feels really good. I find myself taking 2 or 3 naps a day (and still sleeping regular hours at night), so my body must be catching up from all the abuse I have put it through this last month. Exams went OK. I did MUCH better than expected in Statistics (he must have seriously curved the class cuz my final mark jumped 20% above where it was before the exam), Microeconomics was a 'halfway-decent' mark (so I don't need to redo it), and Macroeconomics ... well, I am sure I will do better in it the second time this summer. I passed it, but I really need to understand the content to do well in my graduate degree, so I decided to redo it. That was my first C since the Mulroney administration - ha. I am glad for the 2nd chance/opportunity to do it again before the fall.

I got approved for another term of work study (PTL!) As some of you already know, in the Fall and Spring of this last year, I was on a research team responsible for creating a database of all terrorist activity worldwide since 9/11. It has been a lot of fun; I have had a great partner to work with, and our findings have been fascinating. For example, during 2003 (which was the year I was responsible for), India had by far the most terrorist activity, almost 3 times as many incidents as in the West Bank/Gaza. Also, 17 McDonalds were attacked in 9 countries that year. Interestingly enough, Belfast (Northern Ireland) had more terrorist incidents than Bagdad, Iraq in 2003 (the year the war in Iraq began). You may be wondering, why on earth would Kristen want to spent nearly 300 hours pouring over terrorist incients? This may sound like a scary project, but in a strange way, it was comforting to see how many 'attempted attacks' were thwarted by police. Very few attacks incurred any injuries, and even fewer involved deaths. Of those who died, nearly all were targeted (mostly people running for political office in the Kashmir in India).

So my advice to you all on how to protect yourself from terrorists? Here are my 3 recommendations:

1) Don't run for office in Kashmir, India. Don't be related to anyone running for office in the Kashmir. Don't be a police informant related to someone running for office in the Kashmir. Nuff said.

2) Don't buy property in Sederot, Israel. Almost daily, there is a Qassem rocket fired from somewhere in the Northern Gaza Strip into open fields in Sederot. Almost as often, they fire one back, but no one gets hurt, and no damage is reported. Hmm ... don't get it, but maybe 'you had to be there.'

3) Keep your SUV away from car dealerships in the US. The Earth Liberation Front (an eco-terrorist group from the States) likes to vandalize SUVs because they claim they 'destroy the environment;' I agree with them that SUVs are gas-guzzlers, but the ELF better be using non-aerosol, environmentally friendly spray paint to vandalize those vehicles of evil. Things that make you go 'hmmm . . .'

Anyway, I guess I better get to bed. Miss you all, and hope to hear from you soon.

KNL

A different perspective

Now we are into final exams ... 7 days until freedom. :) Just wanted to take a short break from studying to publish a quick post.

Take a close look at the first photo of the sidewalk (taken near our old house in South Vancouver). It looks like the numbers are engraved INTO the cement, right?

Well, I was playing around with it, and rotated it to see if it looked better from another angle. Notice anything different? Now, the numbers seem to be coming UP out of the pavement. Trippy, eh? I have no idea why it does this - maybe something to do with the angles or shadows or something. I found it cool - hope you do, too.

I initially posted this on Good Friday. It is now Easter Monday, and about 9 hours until my first economics exam tomorrow. How's it going, you ask? I don't remember the last time I studied so hard for something and yet feel like I accomplished so very little. I will admit (and Allison and my family will attest to this readily) that I have been very stressed out these last few weeks. A lot rides on whether or not I pass these economics/statistics classes. I am entering one of them with a 61% average and the final exam is worth 55% of our final mark. I need a B to get into grad school in the fall. Many people have encouraged me that "everything will work out the way it should." I do believe that - I just worry that I will not LIKE "the way it is supposed to work out."

Tonight, I went to my Grandma's (Mohatma Gramma's) house to pick up her van again for the week. I got to talk to her for awhile about how stressed out I am. She was so encouraging to me, and she promised to be praying for me through my day tomorrow. On the way home, I got to thinking about everything a little more, and it dawned on me that perhaps these economics exams are not the most important tests God has for me now. Sure, they are the obvious obstacles in my way, but another test has been going on with me these last few weeks, a test that I should have been preparing for before everything else. I think, if I have figured it out right, that in light of eternity, it is far more important HOW I handle these stressful things than how they actually turn out. I tend to worry about things in a way that suggests I have more control over them than I really do, or I worry that my negative circumstances might bring God's plan to a halt. That is so not true. I have lost perspective of this, and it saddens me to think that I have been handling this stress so poorly.

So tonight, I decided to make things right with God and completely trust that He will work this out the way He wants it. I have done everything I can to be successful, and though clearly my efforts and studying have not been enough lately, I will trust that He will work this out somehow. I will trust, also, that His (possible) detour will be OK with me. In a sense, the important part of tomorrow's exams is already done. I just need to show up at SFU and wait to see what God will do with my exhausted, math-encrusted brain. :)

Whether I pass or fail, all will be OK - all may not be fun, all may not be what I expected, all might include shelling out another 500$ to redo the class this summer, but I will not be beaten by this. I will not be outdone by "the neoclassical model of inflation, monetary policy and cyclical unemployment" ... well, maybe I will, but I won't go down without a fight. :)

KNL

Light at the end of the tunnel

Well, after our little adventures last weekend, Allison and I made a quick decision to get out of our basement suite a little earlier than expected. Things with the landlady were only getting worse, and we were done offering her any of our hard-earned, well, student loans. :) So, with the help of my parents, my Grandma's van, and my brother's family, we moved out of our suite this weekend (and moved in with my parents). Life is good. The next few weeks still include many obstacles to overcome (final exams in Statistics and Economics), but now I can face those hurdles from a safe place to sleep and live. I am so thankful for my parents for bailing us out and for offering us a temporary home. I am thankful, too, for Grandma's (Mohatma Gramma :) van that we used to move and which we will use to get to the bus these last two weeks of school. I have the best family in the world, and this weekend was a great reminder of that. Well, I guess I better go study for those exams. Talk to you all soon.

KNL

Knightmare on Knight Street

What a week. I shouldn't be here to tell you about it. A week that was otherwise burdensome with school stress, insomnia and craziness involving our landlady was punctuated by two back-to-back near death experiences. They still make me sick just thinking about them. Our internet was out Thursday and Friday, and I needed to email an assignment to one of my TA's by 11:50pm Friday, so Allison and I made plans to go to a Blenz (free internet) in Coquitlam. We got as far as the garage when I thought I may have left the hot plate on. I felt bad for making Allison wait for me to go check it, but I went back in anyway. Turns out, it wasn't on, but we were 20 seconds later leaving the house. We walked north up Lanark Street, and just as we got to 49th (to make a left turn on the sidewalk towards the bus shelter), we heard screeching and BAM! Just at that moment, we turned the corner and saw a black Mustang parked on exactly the spot I stand to wait for the bus every morning. The car, whose front end was completely totalled, was surrounded by the remains of the bus shelter, which was now a crumpled, destroyed mess of glass and metal. It was the most improbable accident scene: this lady had somehow crossed over two lanes of oncoming traffic (after jumping over a cement barrier), and crashed into that shelter pointing the wrong way on a very busy street. I am sure that had I not been prompted to check the hotplate, Allison and I would have already been standing in the crease of the bus shelter, chatting away to each other, unaware that we should be watching for oncoming traffic from that direction. No doubt that would have been the end for both of us. Emergency vehicles were there within three minutes, and by midnight, everything (car, pole, shelter and all) had been cleared away).

Which brings me to our 2nd near death experience. Allison and I took the bus home later that night and got to our stop at around midnight. It was dark, pouring-down rain - not an unusual Vancouver evening. Having witnessed an accident at this same spot only hours earlier, we very warily crossed the street, eyes pointed in every direction. We waited for the light to change, standing as far away from the edge of the street as possible. The "cross" signal came on, and we cautiously began walking across Knight Street (a 6 lane urban highway in South Vancouver). Both of us checked every possible direction for traffic. About a quarter of the way across the street, a Toyota truck came barelling down the cross-street ready to turn onto our street, not watching for pedestrians in the crosswalk and not at all slowing down. I was in front of Allison, and when I saw that the guy wasn't going to stop for us, I ran in front of the stopped traffic ahead, thinking I would be safest there. I turned around, and Allison wasn't behind me. My heart sank, and my only comfort was that I hadn't heard a "thump" so he must not have hit her. By the grace of God, Allison, having been two steps behind me, had been able to step back as he charged though (way beyond the speed limit). He missed us both by inches. We stood momentarily in front of the stopped traffic to make sure each other was OK, then we ran off the street as quickly as possible. We were shaking, furious and terrified. I bawled my eyes out the whole way home.

Today in church, I shared our experience with everyone, and I got to thinking a little more about it. You know, most of the time, God protects us so much that we have no idea what lengths He goes to to ensure our protection and well-being. Maybe this was just a little reminder of how close we come every day to disaster, and that He really is watching out for us, even when we are most vulnerable - even on a dark, rainy Vancouver night with nothing but our bus pass to protect us from the speeding cars on the highway.

Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Psalm 100:3 (NIV)

KNL

LET ME OUT!

Only 25 days until Allison and I leave our little piece of heaven. Any of you who have spent time in our suite know the 10 reasons why that is funny. The problem of the week is that our landlady keeps moving our mousetraps when she shows prospective renters our suite (and about 15 couples have come through in the last two weeks - no takers so far). She kicks them (the mousetraps, not the renters) under the stove and the cabinet so no one will know about our little 'subletters' (who, I might add, are 7 months behind in rent -ha). Anyway, Allison and I were angry that the landlady has been moving our stuff around, so late tonight, we rolled up duct tape and fastened the traps firmly to the floor. This lady has brought out a side of me I never knew existed. How do you show love to someone who lies to you, withholds your mail for weeks, blames US for the mouse problem (and denies that the fist sized hole in the living room floor has anything to do with it), won't answer her door when the fire alarm goes off upstairs in the middle of the night, etc, etc.? It has been a real test of my patience and virtue. How do I show her that it isn't OK to treat us like this without being nasty? How do I love her unconditionally without being a doormat? I feel torn - my vindictive side wants to slide little lab mice through her mailslot on my way out on our last day here. My gentler side wants to just smile and not stir the waters. Any advice would be much appreciated. Anyway, regardless, only about 3 more weeks, and then on to Mom and Dad's for a much needed break.

Just a little something that, in light of my school difficulties and house stresses, has come to mean more to me recently:

“ … there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Cor. 12:7-10

Yeah, I needed that.

KNL

"An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible." - Alfred A. Knopf

To get into my MPP program at Université Laval, I needed to take two Economics courses and one Statistics course this term. I initially thought, "Super! First year courses will be a breeze compared to the other work I have done these last 2 years." Wrong. I find it oddly fascinating how I can read my textbook, understanding generally what they are talking about, and then be presented with formulas and graphs at an exam that may as well be in Chinese. Am I losing my mind, or is Economics just a complicated, ambiguous subject? For example, my last assignment contained the following question:

Assume that a perfectly competitive firm has MC = AVC = $12, MC = ATC = $20, and MC = MR = $24. On the basis of this information, can we tell what level of output will the firm choose? Is the firm making a profit? Is the firm making a rent?

To which I said: Are you kidding? Is the firm making a profit? It dang well better be, or someone is in big trouble. Is the firm making a rent? No, 5 years of teaching English have taught me that one "charges rent" and does not "make a rent". Yeah, well, I think I'm funny. I guess I have just met my match; fortunately (well, hopefully, if I pass) it will all be over April 10th.

On a lighter note, French is a great language (but of course, I may be biased). I love discovering things that when translated literally, have a completely different meaning in English. One of my favourite French Bible verses is:

"On reconnait la sagesse dans les paroles de l'homme intelligent, on réserve les coups à celui qui a la tête vide." (Prov. 10.13)

Which, when loosely translated, becomes:

"We recognize wisdom in the speech of intelligent men, we reserve kicks/punches/whacks for him whose head is empty."

Funny. Now THAT's Scripture I won't forget.

KNL