A different perspective

Now we are into final exams ... 7 days until freedom. :) Just wanted to take a short break from studying to publish a quick post.

Take a close look at the first photo of the sidewalk (taken near our old house in South Vancouver). It looks like the numbers are engraved INTO the cement, right?

Well, I was playing around with it, and rotated it to see if it looked better from another angle. Notice anything different? Now, the numbers seem to be coming UP out of the pavement. Trippy, eh? I have no idea why it does this - maybe something to do with the angles or shadows or something. I found it cool - hope you do, too.

I initially posted this on Good Friday. It is now Easter Monday, and about 9 hours until my first economics exam tomorrow. How's it going, you ask? I don't remember the last time I studied so hard for something and yet feel like I accomplished so very little. I will admit (and Allison and my family will attest to this readily) that I have been very stressed out these last few weeks. A lot rides on whether or not I pass these economics/statistics classes. I am entering one of them with a 61% average and the final exam is worth 55% of our final mark. I need a B to get into grad school in the fall. Many people have encouraged me that "everything will work out the way it should." I do believe that - I just worry that I will not LIKE "the way it is supposed to work out."

Tonight, I went to my Grandma's (Mohatma Gramma's) house to pick up her van again for the week. I got to talk to her for awhile about how stressed out I am. She was so encouraging to me, and she promised to be praying for me through my day tomorrow. On the way home, I got to thinking about everything a little more, and it dawned on me that perhaps these economics exams are not the most important tests God has for me now. Sure, they are the obvious obstacles in my way, but another test has been going on with me these last few weeks, a test that I should have been preparing for before everything else. I think, if I have figured it out right, that in light of eternity, it is far more important HOW I handle these stressful things than how they actually turn out. I tend to worry about things in a way that suggests I have more control over them than I really do, or I worry that my negative circumstances might bring God's plan to a halt. That is so not true. I have lost perspective of this, and it saddens me to think that I have been handling this stress so poorly.

So tonight, I decided to make things right with God and completely trust that He will work this out the way He wants it. I have done everything I can to be successful, and though clearly my efforts and studying have not been enough lately, I will trust that He will work this out somehow. I will trust, also, that His (possible) detour will be OK with me. In a sense, the important part of tomorrow's exams is already done. I just need to show up at SFU and wait to see what God will do with my exhausted, math-encrusted brain. :)

Whether I pass or fail, all will be OK - all may not be fun, all may not be what I expected, all might include shelling out another 500$ to redo the class this summer, but I will not be beaten by this. I will not be outdone by "the neoclassical model of inflation, monetary policy and cyclical unemployment" ... well, maybe I will, but I won't go down without a fight. :)

KNL